“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down.”
Did I just start a blog post off with the chorus of Chumbawamba’s smash hit Tubthumping from 1997? Yup! I randomly heard this song the other day while I was having a flareup of my nerve related issues from my Lyme Disease. I was about to change the song but it hit me – HOLY CRAP – this is relatable and inspirational. It’s pretty much how I’ve been living my life for awhile now. It seems that every time one of my symptoms seems to get better and I start to feel optimistic then-BOOM-right away another weird issue flares. Before I go any further I just want to acknowledge that I am in no way saying Tubthumping is a good song! I’m pretty sure the rest of the song is just about drinking a bunch of different types of alcohol and pissing the night away! Anyway, recently I’ve been really sick for two months with stomach issues and my bloodwork has been really off. I missed a lot of work and have been to urgent cares, emergency room, primary care dr., gastro specialists and Immunologists. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom for a day if you know what I mean and then the next day I couldn’t stop going. My pain was so intense at a few points I couldn’t even stand up and one night I never even slept. My eosinophils blood count was extremely high and a bunch of other weirdly named blood cell counts were off during this 2 month stretch as well. I had multiple stool tests and had a fun two for one special colonoscopy and endoscopy at the same time. I had x-rays, two different CT scans, ultrasound, allergy and food allergy testing all done in this two month span. Besides finding a polyp and saying I have some kind of Gastropathy, I passed most of the tests and they think most of my issues are Lyme and Babesiosis related. The food allergy test did show a bunch of foods I was having reactions to. After I cut those foods out my bloodwork did go back to semi-normal and my stomach pain went back to my normal IBS pain, which still sucks but I can handle it. I was super relieved to be back to my baseline stomach pain then-BOOM- another setback. The left side of my face had a tight feeling. I ignored it because no need to focus on every odd body sensation, but then I got pain behind my left eye and my hearing would go in and out making it very hard to concentrate. Then the spasms and twitches came back. I felt like the bell’s palsy was coming back. It is so tough to focus on life when you’re getting violent spasms in neck/temple/face and feels like you go deaf off and on. So I guess this is what my Lyme is choosing to attack at the moment and I’m still battling through this now. I’m not going to lie, dealing with setbacks is incredibly frustrating and can be mentally devastating. One moment you think you’re making progress and the next it’s like you’re back to the starting line again. This can put you in a dark place.
How do deal with all this? For me I always try and think of my kids. I need to be strong and keep going to be there for them. Find your why! Find the reason that you need to keep battling through whatever life storm you’re facing at the moment. Also try to stay present, even though the moment might suck when you’re dealing with something. It’s easy to start thinking you’ll never get better and freaking out about the future wondering if you’ll be suffering forever. This just leads to anxiety and puts you in an even darker place trust me. I also think of that Rocky Balboa quote “It’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” You can literally picture yourself like you’re the main character in a Rocky like movie and that you’re going to have an awesome ending to the movie after enduring a bunch of hardships. Now though, You might also want to start thinking of that chorus from the ridiculous Chumbawamba song! So if you get knocked down, get up again, and never let them keep you down!! Have the best week ever and surf your storm!
Crush it!
Justin
